Home Sick With Maury

So when your home sick and you decide to watch a little morning tv, you find yourself clicking through the channels to see what's on. Then you find this channel where there's this chick yelling and running up and down the stage. "Hmm...." So you leave it there to see what the drama is and so soon enough you find yourself watching the Maury Show.

Now, I don't understand why sisters are sleeping with their sister's boyfriend or husband. I don't understand why girls can't figure out who the father of their child is. How many men are they sleeping with??? Christ! The girl is only 18 years old!!

So the guy comes on stage and he's a bum. He's saying it's not his and the girl is yelling at him saying, " YOU MOTHER *bleeeeeep* MAMA'S BOY! YOU'RE THE FATHER OF MY BABY! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT HER!! SHE'S GOT YOUR MOTHER *bleeeep* BIG NOSE!!!

The guy sits there with a smirk on his face and says, "She ain't mine. You is tripping *bleeeeeep.*"

Maury holds the paper in his hands and proceeds to tear it open. Then right before he gives them the answer, she's sitting in her seat still yelling at him. The auidence boos at the guy while he says, "SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW THIS SITUATION! THIS GIRL IS A HO!!"

Of course now the girl gets up like she's gonna fight him and Maury gets up to sit her back down. "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR *ass*."

(Oops, the bleeper didn't work.)

So Maury gets them to quiet down a bit and he reads the letter. He looks up at the guy and says, "Billy....you are NOT the father." Billy gets up screaming with joy. "HA HA HAAAA, YOU *bleeeeep*!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET ME!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET ME!!! I TOLD YOU I WASN'T THE FATHER. I TOLD YOU!!

The girl sits there like she is shocked. With her mouth dropped open, Maury begins to speak to her. "Would you like to find someone else to take the paternity test? We could do this again." The girl looks at Maury like he's nuts and says, "Maury, he's the only guy I slept with. He IS the father." Billy comes running from the back room out to the stage. "LIAR! YOU LIAR!! YOU SLEPT WITH MY BOY, ROB!!" She sits there looking up at him furious. "HA HA HAAAA I'M NOT THE FATHER *bleeeeeep* !! WAKE UP. CALL UP THOSE OTHER DUDES, YO! I AIN'T THE ONE *bleeeeeeep*!! Billy, still having more to say... "MAURY! MAURY!! I AIN'T NEVER SLEPT WITH THIS HO, YO!"

Maury sitting there confused, asked Billy if this was really true. He said yes. He then ask if she slept with him. "Ummm...I think so." The audience boos.

What drama. I love my sick days.