IM

Instant messaging is one of the greatest inventions of all times. You can talk instantly to someone in another country. But the best is when you're sitting at your desk IMing your pal at work and she's sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!! Why IM her if she's there? You can just speak to her, right? Wrong. You can't always do that when you're secretly talking about someone. For example:

John is standing in front of Jan's desk. There's a strange odor flying in the area all of a sudden and Jan is turning blue holding her breath. She notices John and immediately assumes it's John that smells. She stays quiet and looks over at me. She turns to her computer and starts to type fast. Fast like she's running out of air. Then a message pops up on my screen.

Jan: JOHN SMELLS!!
Lani: What? I don't smel---oh wait. I SMELL IT!! It's like rotten eggs or something.
Jan: Bad tuna
Lani: No...tuna? Smells bad. But you should stay at your desk and be polite. Oh, I think he's catching on to you. Stop moving around.
Jan: LANI HELLLLLP MEEEEEE!!
Jan: Why aren't you turning blue? You like this smell?
Lani: No, but look. His fly is open.
Jan: Why are you staring down there?
Lani: SHUT UP! It's open, look!!

Jan stands up and takes a look.

Lani: Hey dumbass, you were obvious. He saw you.
Jan: I KNOW. OHMYGOD HE'S COMING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John leans over to ask Jan how long the boss will be on the phone.

Lani: TELL HIM TO COME BACK! TELL HIM TO COME BACK!!

"Well he might be long, actually. It was an emergency. So….come back at 4pm?"

John agrees to that and leaves. -

Another time, I was busy doing work. Jan felt she needed attention. But while the partners were standing by our desk, she didn’t want them to know she was longing for my affection.

Jan: LAAAAAANI!! What are you doing?
Lani: You don’t see that I’m staring hard into my computer, memorized by the lighting and the information that I could be reading now, but instead I am typing to you?
Jan: ……….
Jan: wanna follow me home from work?
Jan: ... :P
Lani: ………….?!
Jan: ... fooey
Lani: I don't stalk people
Lani: ...you want a stalker? I'll call my ex
Jan: oooo low blow.
Lani: Low? It’s always a low blow. When is it ever high?
Jan: LOL, LANI!!!
Lani: time for you to shut up.
Jan: where's the love?
Lani: You're out. Now let me get back to work. I see you doing nothing.
Jan: cause you sit next to me.
Lani: that's right. I didn't think you were that smart. I should respect you know, right?
Jan: you're mean.
Lani: I am. >:)