Motivation Gone

I've lost my motivation for alot of things. At one time I was running around doing things I enjoyed. But now, I'm just sitting alone feeling sorry for myself and I don't know why. Well maybe I do. But I'm better than this. And I know for sure. I guess I need changes in my life, but what kind? I'm a bit down and I don't want to think about anything. There comes a time in my life when I get bored and I need to desperately change things. I need a new job, for one. But with who and where? I work with a girl who keeps me smiling. If it weren't for her, I would have yelled at my boss, I think. I would have yelled at alot of people. I get like that. I get to a point where I don't care and I say how I feel. So I'm sort of starting to get to that point and someone is gonna hear me soon. Who? I don't know. But what makes me feel better is spending my money and I'm about to get myself into trouble if I don't stop. At least I'm not so bad like others, but it can get pretty bad if I don't control it. So I'll budget for the next month and bring my bills down to a zero again.

Aside from that, I want a puppy. I saw one the other day, a little yorkie, and I wanted to hold him in my arms. He looked lost. He was so cute. I think I need to care for something now. If it's not a baby then it's a puppy. I'm okay with that. I'll go get my little booboo soon. I gotta keep him out of the heat in my apartment. I don't wanna come home and find him dead from heat. I'd never recover from that. I'd feel guilty for eternity.

So today I'll go see my doctor. I'll most likely have to start seeing him regularly cause the pain in my lower back and knee is starting up again. Now my knee is shooting pain down to my foot. It's worrying me a bit, but we'll see what he says tonight. Then tomorrow I'll see another doctor for a regular check up. I also have to make another doctor's appointment for the dentist. My back teeth have been an issue with my dentist. So I should listen, right? I'll go soon enough.

I'm a little stressed and my arm feels numb. *sigh*