A Bit Of Pissy Ramblng

I didn't want to start my new year by making resolutions. I wasn't going to say I would go to the gym. No. It never works. So I'm just going to the gym and it's NOT a new years resolution.

But there was one that I wanted to make and that was to stop being nice. I have had many moments in my life where I wanted to kick myself for being too kind to people. I was too kind to my ex who did nothing but lie and cheat. Instead of beating him and pulling out his penis to then stuff up his ass, so that the girl he was with can pull it out for him, I was kind to him. Kind like how? Not kind like I brushed the hair out of his eyes and wiped his tears. The kind of "kind" where I let him go and I didn't bother sending Tommy thumbs and coffee cake Jimmy after him to take him for a long walk.

Sometimes I'm nice and I say to myself, why the hell was I just nice to this bitch. I held the door for her and she said nothing. Then another time maybe I sent over a gift to someone and they never responded with a thank you. That pisses me off. I didn't have to go out of my way to do that, but I did. And I just do sometimes.

I recently sent out a card to someone and they never bothered to say thank you. Sort of bugged me cause I was only being nice. DAM IT...that's how I am!! I went out of my way and for what? Do I have to call you to get a thank you?? Jesus fucking christ! I'm no psycho, you dumbass. I'm just a caring person. Yeah, excuse me while I barf.

Well I'm pretty much tired of helping people too. Especially at work. For 5 years I ran around helping all these people. I trained them. I helped them with their problems. And when I needed help one day, NO one was able to do so. No one took the time to help me with something I was having trouble with.

Nowadays, I'm pretty much a rebel at work. I go against all the corporate rules. I have a "I don't care" attitude. I'm leaving pretty soon, so when I do, I might just moon them. Okay, so I won't, but I could just flip them a bird? Okay no bird, I'll just smile and be really fake on my way out. I'll send everyone an email on how wonderful it's been to have worked with everyone. And how I'll miss them terribly. Zzzzz

The other day I was getting off the bus and this girl got off and didn't hold the door. You're suppose to be nice and hold the door cause people are behind you stepping down. Be nice and hold the door. It's what we do. But there's always one person who doesn't do it. So one day this girl did that. And I managed to pass her on the way up. I ran up the stairs and caught the train and the door closed right in her face. I smiled cause I was inside the train and off to manhattan!! I could have held the door for her, right? But I didn't.

I really don't want to be nice to everyone. I will, however, continue to be nice because it' s my nature, but for several, I will not. That's it.