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Louie's First Tree Climb

Tough day

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Visiting the office in New York.

Cat Fight

Switzerland -Schilthorn/Piz Gloria

Oooh Girl

Louie

Punished. Can't go outside.

Louie

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Dreams

Dreams can be nice. Or sometimes they're just plain nightmares. How often do we have nightmares? I don't have many of them, but I do dream. Do I dream every night? Not really, but I do.

There are times where I dream the weirdest things and then the next day I try to analyze them. I'm walking down a long hallway, then I'm at a store picking out curtains. Next I'm jogging and I see a bunch of mountain bikers walking their bikes instead of riding them. Just weird.

But sometimes we dream things that tend to stick in our heads all day. And here's one dream that will stick in my mind for a long time before I can make peace with it.

A week ago I had a dream that I was home in New York and on the corner waiting to cross the street. Now in reality, I have done this a million times when I was living back home. It was the neighborhood I grew up in. And crossing this street was pretty rough there. So in my dream, I'm standing on the corner waiting to cross the street and a friend of mine and my family walks by me. He saw me and said hello! He said to me, "Long time no see." And I told him I was home visiting my parents. He said, "Very nice. You look good!" And I said thank you. He then said to take care and smiled as he walked towards his home. And I smiled and looked back at the light and continued to wait to cross. It was nice to see him, I thought.

That was it. The next day I remembered this dream. I don't usually think of him often, let alone dream of him, but I did. And several days later, my mother calls me to tell me that he died. I couldn't believe it. I asked how, cause he wasn't old. Was he sick? I couldn't believe it!

Then she told me that he was crossing the street. The same corner in my dream. He was crossing the street and a cab hit him really bad. They took him to the hospital where he was still alive for a few days, but unfortunately he didn't make it.

And so now I feel sad. I feel weird and I'm in shock. And I'm thinking he came to me to say hello before he died. Because it was around that time. And he was nice as always to me, for all the years I have known him. And to hear that this has happened. I'm truly sad. I really am. So was that a dream that I had? I could have seen him somewhere else. But I saw him there at the corner. What a coincidence. Or was this much more than a dream?

Garden of the Gods

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Denver

I enjoyed a great day of snowmobiling.

Booboo Ornament

In Memory of my beloved Booboo.

Over The Weekend

A Bit Foggy This Morning.

Wanted

I found myself walking the streets of Manhattan and I came across this sign. I think it's what I'm suppose to do. I feel the magic in me. I want to make things and people disappear and I HAVE!! But would that be called Magic , stealing or wacking? And let's make this clear now...I do not steal. Thank you.

Junk Yard Resturant

So today my mother and I went shopping. After hitting a few stores, we decided to go over to this place and have a cup of coffee. Well, she had the coffee and I had mango juice, with a little dessert. So this was my first time at this resturant/cafe and we walked in and as soon as you walk in, this is what you see. It's called the Junk Yard. And hanging around the resturant are all sorts of things that you would most likely find in a junk yard. It looks pretty artsy. So we enjoyed our drinks and then left to buy some frames.

But when I walked in, I thought there was someone sitting there. It turns out she's plastic. ;)

Queens, NY

I Like Room

It's always nice when you're flying and you find that the seat next to you is empty and you're taking off. "SCORE!" I can now stretch out and fly for the next 3.5 hours with comfort. I like it. I like room when I fly. ;)

After Work Sunset

An Exciting Moment at 11:42am

I was sitting at my desk working when all of a sudden there was a bang. The floor shook. Then it happened again. "What the..." We all stopped working and stood still. Then we started shaking. It was an earthquake. I got up from my desk and grabbed my bag and my cell phone. I didn't know what I was doing, but I had to grab my bag. I was running around like a dog chasing his tail, until my co-worker went under his desk. "Ah!" I went under my desk and started to take off my shoes. I held onto my bag and my emergency earthquake bag as well. I tried to dial my sister in NY, but my cell phone wasn't working. My heart was pounding fast and my nerves had my entire body shaking. The earthquake was still going. My mind was racing a mile a minute. The building was swaying back and fourth hard. I wanted to hurl. Then it stopped.

It was happening for a while, because I was at my desk sitting, then I got up, then I ran around my cubicle a few times. Grabbed my bag. Grabbed my cell phone. Dialed two numbers and nothing went through. Looked around at the others standing there. Looked at my shoes under my desk and my emergency bag. Then I went under the desk. I did alot during this earthquake, so it shook for a bit.

I was scared. I didn't think how much worse it would be, but it was shaking hard enough to scare me. Good news is, there was no damage, but to the front of the building where a letter fell off a sign. And a plane getting ready to land here, came close to landing, when they told him to pull up. So there goes the plane. I can imagine that the passengers were freaking out.

What a start to my day.

The Lights Went Out!!

I couldn't see a thing, until I found my headlamp. I had to feel around for it in my drawer. I felt a cold chill. "Who's there?" I ask. I heard a voice. A scary voice. He said he was going to touch me in the dark. I wondered how. But I didn't allow this to happen as I turned on my headlamp and saw my boyfriend standing there in his underwear.

DisneyLand

Great new colors but I can't seem to get away from the Halloween theme. :(

But this will do for now.

Yesterday we went to Disneyland. My first time. I had fun. A must do ride is the Indiana Jones ride. Lots of jerking around in the jeep, bumps, turns and darkness. Loved it. Then out of nowhere the car stops and ahead you see the huge round boulder that Indiana Jones had to run from. I was thinking...okay what now? Is this just an illusion or what? But what I didn't expect had happened. And we all screamed. I got to sit in the drivers seat and hold on to the steering wheel. I got out of there all happy with a big smile on my face.

Then there was the runaway train. Fast, fun and lots of screaming.
You're always a kid at heart when you go to these parks. Next stop, Water Park!! ;)

Tuesday Morning

Working along here. Nothing exciting. But, BUT...tonight is a new Moon, for all you moon lovers out there.

Go and enjoy it!!

Today

It's nice out today. No rain...yet. I heard it was suppose to rain. Great, I just washed my car.

Well the gym was good. And on the way up there, I found out that they're not gonna pave the road here today. It's raining. And man do I love today's weather!!

So I went into the office today after my workout and told them about a shade that was broken in the house here. Maybe they'll do something, but I doubt they will today or Monday. So if next week works for them, then that's fine too. Usually the guy at the office never seems to get my stuff done the first time I ask. So we'll see how this goes.

It's 10:30am and I just want to lay on the couch and watch The View. ;)

Missing The Bootie

Bootie left today. There's a strange feeling floating at home. I'm alone. Scared to go to bed tonight. I'll hear sounds. Did I just see something in the dark?? I won't be able to breathe. It's only been a few hours since Bootie left and I already find myself depressed cause I'm alone. Am I dependent on snuggle time? Dependent on spooning? Oh god yes. Yes I am.

I don't know what to do with myself. I can't spend money, because that would be the solution to my not knowing what to do. There are stores out there!! A shit load of stores. I could shop to ease the pain of me being alone. Alone without Bootie. But I won't. I promised I wouldn't spend money unless I went raving mad and needed THAT Bratz doll!! No, no I won't. I will only spend money on something to eat, gas, perhaps a Cosmo magazine that talks about love, sex and how to deal when your bootie goes. Yeah, I could do that. But then it would only make me depressed. I then start to think...."cookies!" And then start to feel like cookies will ease my pain, finally.

Oh poo, forget the cookies. I can have a chocolate cake instead! Am I feeding my pain? No. I just want to have it. But I won't. I start to think of the horrible things that happen when cookies and cake are near by. How bad it is for you. Oh sooo good, who am I kidding?!! I start to think, "I should have gone to the supermarket. Crap!" But then start to remember the other side of me telling the other side, no. Cause you know, there are two sides of a person. Or maybe that's just me?

I'm alone. Well not alone. I have a few friends in the clo - what? I think it's time to go downstairs and eat a cookie.

I miss my Bootie. Oh Bootie, wherefore art thou Bootie? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Crazy ass.

Cookie time.

Friday Ramble - The First Beating

You know, it's Friday. Which means that I can go home and not have to sleep early and get up tomorrow for work. I can do my laundry late tonight or hang out (which never happens, but I'll write it to look cool) or walk around and shoot some pictures. There's a snail by the gate. I think he's looking for some attention.

So I'm happy today is Friday. Yesterday I was really cranky. I got over it last night after I worked out at the gym. Good, now I know what I have to do when I'm upset and ready to beat someone. Normally that's Mas cause he bugs me alot. Like when I'm trying to watch tv and it's my favorite show. He'll dance in front of the tv purposely so that it'll get me angry and I'll start to yell at him. Then he looks at me like I'm crazy, and says..."I like you. I like your FIRE!" LOL...he's funny alright. But I do get upset and he IS in the line of fire. He's the only guy that I have not beaten yet. YET. But if I ever did, I would have to leave him cause it's not nice to beat your gf/bf or spouse. Whatever they are to you. You shouldn't beat the one you love.

My first beating was when I was 10 or 11 or 12. One of those. His name was Daniel. I don't know what was wrong with him, but he was always bugging me. I later came to understand that when boys bothered me, it was because they liked me. Which brings me to the realization that I was beating a flock of boys back then. Hmm... So I guess maybe he liked me?

Well I use to hit him all the time. In class, I took out my solid wooden ruler and I would wack him over the head. If he got too close....WACK! If he said something to me.....WACK! The day came that I didn't have my ruler and we were in the park. Daniel thought it would be funny to really bother me. So he went and grabbed my butt. Shocked, I said..."Did you just touch my butt?" While standing there with a smirk on his face, he said yes. So I grabbed him and well...I broke his arm and shoved him to the ground.

The boy was in pain. "Can you get up?" I ask. He said his arm was broken. Well scared that I had really hurt him, the only thing I could think of was to threaten him. "You tell the teacher I broke it and I'll break your other arm." Well poor Daniel never told anyone, except his friend David, who later thought he would "scare" me and let me know he knew. I gave him the look, but I knew he wouldn't do it. I would have waited for him in a dark corner after school if I had to, and gotten away with it. I had a special kind of innocense to me. I knew he was a punk cause one day his mother came to school and slapped him in front of the entire class and he cried. I knew his weakness. He wouldn't win.

And so no one ever found out. Although there was one girl who knew, but she kept her mouth shut as well. But I don't think he expected me to hurt him like that. Perhaps it was my navy seal training in the 2nd grade. You know, you don't really tell people you're a 007 in the 2nd grade. I took an oathe with the President of our crafts class.

So yeah, it's Friday. And I have 1 hour to go. Til then I'll just go over to the ladies room and brush my teeth. Wash my hands, chit chat with the receptionist, who I'll invite over to my place one weekend soon. And then it'll be time to go.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday Ramble

Today sucks. I've been cranking ever since I read my boss's email to me. There was some blah blah blah followed by a "let's talk." Crap. What now? Yeah, I made a mistake somewhere, but I can't remember doing anything wrong. Perhaps it was the database, but no. She thinks it was me and I've been pissed off all day. What if it wasn't me?

I like my job, but working with 8 women is hard. You know how women can get. They're very catty. I was thinking earlier this morning, we wouldn't even speak to one another if I didn't work with them at all and I was some chick in the office. I'm sure they wouldn't bother. Sometimes there's someone who doesn't like me and I don't even know them. That's how girls are. They'll see a chick that stands out and is popular and knows everyone, and then they're sitting there hating on you.

That's right, I stand out. With this hair, are you kidding me? Have you seen my curls? Scroll down a couple of posts for that one. There isn't anyone ever in any office I'm at, that has hair like this. Crazy.

So where am I going? Okay, so today sucks. I had to leave and get some air. So I took off and went to Target. Bought myself a doll and some Twizzlers, oh and some 100 calories snacks for my desk draw here at work. So this week I bought bratz 4 dolls. I bought 3 last night. There's a sale for these dolls. Some were $6.88 and regularly they would be $14.99. Then there was one that was $13.88 when it's normally at $19.99. So you know, I had to rack up. I still collect these lovely dolls, yes. I am so addicited it's not anything to talk about anymore. For those of yous who thought I was a bit off. Some people collect toys too, like someone I know whose got his matchbox cars in the living room. I don't say anything, cause I like my dolls just as much as he likes his matchbox cars. Besides, he's got Playstation and Wii.

Trailer Mansion

When I first heard of this. I was like "...a trailer mansion?" I started to think of this huge trailer. It being long and high ceilings. A couple of bathrooms, a few bedrooms, two or three kitchens. A second level. A computer room. I mean, these things all went through my mind. Okay probably not 3 kitchens. Just two. But when I saw this picture, man, I just thought, "Now that's........" See I don't know what that is.

But someone was very creative.

Tuesday Afternoon Ramble

Well, the past two weeks were busy for me. Had a lot to do at work and I got it all done and everyone was happy. Great.

Today I went over to get my car's first Minor Maintenance check after 7500 milles. Although I'm only at 7,000 miles, it was okay to get a couple of things checked out. So my little baby went on it's way for a check up. It took an hour to do, so I waited inside and watched the news. Got to work at 10:30am and started working on a finance project right away. It was a long process so I didn't want to waste any time. Was it fun? No. Is work ever any fun? Probably not, but if you said yes...you sit on a throan of lies.

So the wife is at home cleaning and preparing our meal for this evening. Had to call during the day a couple of times to make sure he was vacuming the floors. I like to come home to a place without a hair out of place. I don't like to repeat words in a sentence. Just hate it.

I could have said, "I like to come home and not find a hair out of place." That sounded better.

Well now I'm waiting to leave work, as I have nothing to do. But since I got here at 10:30, I'm trying to be good and stay til at least.....5pm. Yeah, no reason to work til 6. Who the hell does that?

So on the drive home from work, I don't really ever sit in bad traffic. Sure there's traffic, but it's not like LA's traffic jams. Since I'm going south, it's not too bad. Although we have some seriously stupid drivers here. The other day I thought Tomas was gonna run us off the road cause of some asswipe chick pulling out of her lane in front of us. I started to get upset and right away wanted to shed blood. But I stood in control, for I was in the PASSENGER SEAT! I had to worry about Tomas as he's got this car that's super fast and he gets nuts when people do stupid things. He fingered, I mean, he FLIPPED the girl a bird and took off. The girl was stupid. She tried to catch up, but that's cause he slowed down at times. I was waiting for her to look over so I can pull out my water gun and squirt some serious poo crap onto her window. What? Do I carry a poo gun? Who would seriously do that? No, not me. But this is all ficitional and for your enjoyment. I'm just so freaking crazy. So creative that I amaze myself. Like for example....I manage to eliminate boob cleavege. Ask me how for 100 bucks.

Oh and by the way, here are some amazing photos.









Okay well that's enough for now. I'm ready to rock and roll.

Fallen Off The Wagon

I've fallen off the wagon again and again. Since 2004 after losing the 16lbs and feeling back to my old self I didn't work out as much. But that was due to hurting myself and not being able to walk right. I had injuried myself on an 11 mile hiking trip in Upstate NY. So the pounds came back. But I'm not that bad. Just not use to the extra weight.

So I started back at the gym and hopefully this week I'll go over to the boxing place and join that gym. I'll be doing kick boxing and boxing. So let's see how this goes.

Today I got on my bike and rode for a bit. It was a good ride. But doing my usual mountain biking like in NY isn't the same here. For some reason, (mountain lions) I'm not into it anymore. I feel like turning in my mountain bike for a cruising bike with a basket up front. I want to ride it with a dress and heels and my hair blowing in the wind, instead of bike pants, a wind breaker, a helmet and gloves. I look like I'm into some serious riding and I was. But like I said, now, it's just not the same. I use to get excited, knowing that the trails would be fun and I'd see a view that you just don't see in Queens. But here, you have views too. You just have to watch out for the little mtn lions...if they happen to be around. And one was spotted not too long ago.

Oh well, today's ride was fun. Wasn't in the mtns much. Joggers were around and some people walking. I'll try and work my way up the mountain trails here. Just go in little by little. It's a bit different here. Can't fall into a bush much cause out will jump out a snake or two. Not fun. I mean, I wasn't always falling off, but I did the occasional flipping off my bike at some tricky points of the trail. I would fall off and get back on my bike with no problem. At times I came home banged up and bruised for days, but I enjoyed it. Now, I'm just afraid.

It Broke My Heart

The dat started out sunny. I got in my car, opened the sun roof and off I went. I played some spanish jazz while I drove. Not actually playing it, you know, with instruments and all. I mean, how could I drive if I was playing?

So while I slowed down to stop at the red, I noticed a small dog running. Awww, he was cute. He looked like a Shitsho. Well, he was running very fast, up the sidewalk. And then he stopped and ran back down the sidewalk and around the corner. I figured he or she was running back to it's owner. But then the dog came back running up the hill again. And then back down. "What's he doing?" I ask myself. The dog kept running back and fourth and as I moved forward and got a closer look around the corner, there was no one around. He was alone and looking for his owner.

The light turned green and I started to drive and turn the corner. I got to see that the dog was coming around again and he stopped by the grass. I looked away, cause I'm drving here, but I looked down the block and saw no one around. It broke my heart that this dog was running around like that. I know a dog running like that is looking for their owner. I remember my dog use to run like the wind when he saw me or was looking for me. They get scared and start running looking for their owner.

I wanted to stop and rescue him. But I was going to work. What could I have done? I would have stopped if I was on my way home or if it were the weekend. My goodness, I hope he's not there anymore. But if he is when I come home, I'm going to pick him up and take him to the dog shelter. But maybe after a day or two. Who knows. Why anyone would just leave their dog like that, I won't ever understand. But perhaps this person was walking their dog and they dropped and had a heart attack? I hope not. I just hope the dog is home now and resting.

It really bugs me when I park my car where there are plenty of spaces and some asswipe comes and parks right next to me. Why can’t he park a space away from me? And not only does he park next to me, he parks really close.

Does he/she not know the rules of parking?? The rule that says….okay Lani’s rule says, you DO NOT park next to another car when cars are parked every other space and there are still more spaces available.

And in this area, it’s never full. Right over the divider is where everyone parks. So all people have to do is turn left and park there, but it’s too far from the elevator, so the lazy people all turn right to park closer to it. But since I don’t like my car being next to some of these other cars, I park in this same area each day. It’s great. But when someone comes along and parks next to me and there’s a TON of space, why can’t they park a space away??

STOP DOING THIS PEOPLE!! I don’t like it. Grrrrr....

Oh well, we all have the right to park where we want, but you know that people do this, so why park next to them? Park over there!! Cause if I find a ding, I’m gonna wait for you!!

NewsFlash

April 9th - LJ drove over to see the dentist after 3 months, for a quick check up. They cleaned her teeth and after that decided to discuss the two back teeth in back that were turning in. "Well your teeth are just great. They're all straight, except for these two in back. Let's talk about these. Let me call the Orthodontist."

Now, LJ knew about these two in back for the past two years, but never got around to seeing the Orthodontist in New York, so now she was going to take care of it.

News of what would happen if she didn't take care of it frightened her, but there was still hope. Taking care of your teeth are important and LJ always took care of her teeth, but was shocked last December when she was told she needed a root canal. The root canal was done, so now we waited for it to adjust.

"But as far as the teeth back there, you're going to need braces to help straight the up and over." The dentist said. "Yeah, I figured. Sure I'll do it. I don't want any problems with my teeth if I don't fix them." So in the end she said that I would have to have braces on for a good 18 to 24 months. She said that a lot of kids go through it and they're fine. It's the adults that have problems with it. Probably cause they don't want to look like dorks?

"Well I don't mind." I said. " I think it'll only make me cuter. " ;)

Tips

Just came across these interesting tips:

Bed Sheets: After drying my sheets, put both sheets and one pillowcase in the other pillow case. Fold neatly in a square Next time you change sheets, you just take the one pillow case and all the sheets and pillow case are inside. No need to look for matches.

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Reheat Pizza: Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

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Easy Deviled Eggs: Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

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Expanding Frosting: When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

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Reheating refrigerated bread: To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

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Newspaper Weeds-Away: Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go, cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some of the gardening plastic, they will not get through wet newspapers.

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Broken Glass: Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken pieces of glass the fibers catch ones you can't see!

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No More Mosquitoes: Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

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Squirrel Away : To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

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Easier thank you's: When you throw a bridal/baby shower, buy a pack of thank you cards for the guest of honor. During the party, pass out the envelopes and have everyone put their address on one. When the bride/new mother sends the thank you's, they're all addressed!

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Purchase new bike: If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handle bar before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.

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Flexible vacuum: To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

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Reducing Static Cling: Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and -- voila -- static is gone.

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Measuring Cups: Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

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Foggy Windshield : Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

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Reopening envelope: If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily.

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Conditioner:Women, you can use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair... Good-bye Fruit Flies: To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

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Get Rid of Ants: Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," & can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, esp. if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

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Take baby powder to the beach: Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When you're ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin

I've talked about this before. Where your flying long hours and you want to relax. Don't pull on the chairs in front of you, cause you'll wake up the person in front of you.

One time I was sleeping and this jerk off pulled on my chair, pushing my head off the step and startling me. I cursed and turned around. The bitch didn't realize what she had done. So I was hoping the hubby would. I don't care if you're 6'4, I'll get up and beat the crap out of you. Or we'll just be arguing and I'll curse you out. Perhaps then I'll wait for you outside and push you in front of a moving cab.

Well travelling back home from Hong Kong was harder than travelling TO Hong Kong. I was sitting in the middle and I hate middles. But some dude was on the end and I would rather sit in the isle. Well that worked out much better than on the way home. I was a seat a way from this really big over weight (fat) man. That was close. I would have had issues. If I don't have space I'll start screaming.

Let's put the fat ppl in bigger seats. Not to keep them away from me, but so that they are more comfortable. Or maybe they should buy buiness class instead?

Whatever.... People don't pull on the seats when you are trying to get out of the row. Just use YOUR seat to hold on to. And stop kicking the seat with your knees. If you have long legs, you should have known better than to sit in the middle. What? You didn't pick out that seat? Well ask the front desk before boarding if you could change it. Just don't sit in a seat that you don't fit in and squish the person next to you.

Oh lord help me if I ever ride on a plan back home and I'm stuck sitting in between two huge people. One, that wil never happen cause I would try to change my seat. Or speak to someone over the phone to arrange for an isle seat. There's just no way i'm seating in the middle or by the window. If you're on the end and are sleeping, then I can't get up when I want. That sucks. So that's why I seat in the isle seat.........ALWAYS.

Jet Lag

Oh lord. I have major jet lag. Right now i'm up here at work, but I can't stay awake. My eyes are heavy. My head is falling back. I think I just passed out for 5 seconds as I was writing this!!

I'm sleepy.

Hong Kong's JJ Hotel

Privacy is so overrated.

NYers Can Understand

Only those that grew up in NY can understand the meaning of this:

THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S 'UPTOWN' OR 'DOWNTOWN.' IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE...AND EAST OR WEST IS 'CROSS-TOWN.'

YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE OR YOU HAVE ONE, BUT YOU DON'T OWN A CAR. WHO NEEDS ONE WHEN YOU WALK AND TAKE THE TRAINS EVERYWHERE??

YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.

YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT A 'REGULAR' COFFEE IS.

IT'S NOT MANHATTAN...IT'S THE 'CITY.'

YOU CROSS THE STREET ANY WHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.

YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN, LONG ISLAND OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A 'REAL' PIZZA AND A 'REAL' BAGEL.

A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.

YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.

YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.

YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.

YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.

YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS IS IN EFFECT.

YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.

SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.

YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE STREET HAVING A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.

YOU PAY 'ONLY' $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.

YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS.

THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.

YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.

THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.

THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.

The Transaction

It was dark, cold and raining outside. The balloon outside my home had deflated. I stood there and looked at it. As I stood there, the lights on his fantastic car came right at me. A tall handsome man got out of his car and asked, “Are you ready?” I nodded yes and closed the door behind me.

We headed down the road where other cars drove carefully along side us, except for one guy who was speeding in the rain. “Show off.” He said. “He’ll run off the road for sure if he doesn’t stop.” I said. But we didn’t care. We had a mission to complete.

The rain was falling heavy on the road. The wipers racing back and fourth to keep our view clear. We enter a parking lot and park. The rain continues to pound on the car. We look at each other and then get out of the car. He races for the umbrella and covers me, the Queen, under it.

“Are you ready for this?” He asked once again. “ No. Why don’t you take me back home. I have to bake a cake now. Yes!! Let’s do this!” He pulls out a bag from the trunk and shuts the door. We walk away a few feet and stop. He turns around to make sure the car is locked.

We weren’t afraid of the rain or the puddles as everyone around us were. They were running all over to find a dry place. Punk looking skate boarders running with their skate boards in their hands. Young blond bimbos walking extremely fast in heels they can’t walk in. Two men holding a sweater over their mother to keep her from melting. But we were calm. We had our LL Bean gear on. California folks don’t understand this. You just knew we were from out of town.

We stop at the location Mas had set up. He set up a time and a place for the transaction to go down at. That’s right. Transaction. We didn’t want to look suspicious, but since we were cool looking, it was hard to get people to stop looking at us. We looked at our watches to make sure they were in sync. “Check?” “Check. Roger that.” Confirms LJ. It was 6:45pm. We were 15 minutes early. As he stood there protecting the bag, I looked around to see who would show up. Would this man be early or show up at 7pm. With the rain still coming down, we thought he might be late. This would be the one and only time we would be there for this……transaction. Mas didn’t care for him after 7:15.

“What if the rain has caused major delays? We should wait until 7:30.” LJ says. “This will go down between 7 and 7:15 and nothing more. It’s not my problem. “How could you say it’s not your problem? This is big money here.” Noise from the crowd next to us caused us to silence ourselves. “We need to stay focused and watch out for this person. We don’t know what he’ll look like.” Mas said. “ I bet he’s tall, thin with brown hair. Any man name Grant must look like this. You remember Grant Show?” Mas looks at LJ and says, “You know, you talk a lot. Why is this?” LJ gives him a soft punch to the gut. “I like to talk! Talking is good. You should try it sometime.” “Why are all these people here talking? What do they talk about? Why do they talk about crap?” LJ looks at him as if strange and says, “People talk about lots of things. It’s what we do.” Tomas looks at the crowd and looks back at LJ and says, “That is not necessary. Silence is better.” She shakes her head back and fourth. “ You know, Mas…you’re not human. Do you hang upside down when you pee?”

The wind blows. The air was getting colder. The time was approaching 7 and no sign of Grant. A man walks by and looks towards Mas. LJ eyeballs him to see if he is just walking by or looking for Mas. But he continues to walk by. “I didn’t like that guy.” LJ says. “Why?” LJ watches as he walks away further. “He looked too bulky, like he was hiding something under that jacket.” “Perhaps it was his big gut. Muaw ha ha ha haaa” Says Mas.

Time went by and it was 7:10pm. No one was walking by anymore. The crowd had left and only two girls and one guy stood there talking and smoking. The smoke was annoying LJ. But the wind quickly blew it away. She turned around and noticed the girl’s rear. There was a lot of rear in the girl’s pants. She could hear it screaming. Suffocating. She needed a bigger size.

It was 7:14. “One more minute and I’m going to walk away and eat a burrito by 7:18.” But out of the corner came a man. He was tall, but not taller than Mas. He was thin and had brown hair. LJ was correct.

“Tomas?” Asks Grant. He looked like the type of man that would be interested in the package. He had that look. The look that made us think he would be trouble for us. “I have the money.” Grant says. “I have the goods.” Says Mas. “And I’m cold.” LJ mumbles to herself sadly.

The security guard at the door watched and wondered what was going on. Did he notice Grant handing Mas money? Yes, he did.

“I have 75 here. It’s all there.” Says Grant. Mas hands him the bag and tells him he can check it out if he wanted to. But Grant trusted him. And Mas trusted that he had the 75 dollars in his hands.

“Thanks, good night.” Says Grant and he walks away into the night. “He wore a rain jacket. Did you notice? He’s not from California.” LJ says. “Yes, I noticed. It doesn’t rain that much in California, so California people don’t own any. Nor do they own umbrellas, like this magnificent umbrella you see here.” LJ looks up at Mas and says, “Oh yes. It’s big and magnificent.” They head over to Chipotle and order their burritos. Mas holds his burrito in his hand and slowly pulls it towards his mouth for that first great bite. But before he bites into it, he looks at his watch. “The transaction went down as planned and my burrito is in my hand.” It was 7:18 on the dot. “I think he’ll like the camera bag. I did. But I like my new one better.”

And Now We Return To The Dramatic Chipmunk

The End

Wisdom

The older I get, the more I understand what people and life are all about. People are full of shit and life is just a big ball rotating over and over again like fashion items that come back into play every so many years. When we're older and paying our bills, we look down to the kids and teenagers who are egar to grow up fast and think their stupid.

Lunch

I went down to have lunch. I was looking forward to slow eating and quiet time. I'm afraid to chew, so I'm just swallowing my food. But after I cut it up into tiny pieces. Tinier than your averge tiny. :o
So I get to the cafe and it's noisy. Great. I can't watch All My Children cause all these guys are sitting yappy away. Then these two girls come by and one sits by me. She stinks. What the hell? Would LJ be able to eat her food with stinky sitting next to her? Well I managed to be okay, since someone came in and mircowaved their good smelling food. But there were times stinky's stink peek in.
One thing that bugs me the most is when I'm watching TV and someone talks and I miss out on what the person was saying. Here I have about 6 people talking and I'm thinking, can't they talk low? Group A in the corner have been talking low and I like them for that. Group B is talking loud in Japanese, freaking annoying. And group Stinky had the nerve to talk about other people when stinky was stinking.
The good food smelling lady sat on the other side of me and she behaved. She too thought everyone should shut the hell up, but she kept quiet and like me, watched the news. So from 15 different stories, I manage to hear about the following:

1. Tornado spotted on the ground in Washington, DC.

2. Man threw his two kids off a bridge.

3. Some dude resigns from running for President. I have no idea who that funny looking fool was.

4. Obama chosen as the next President by Kerry instead of what's his face.

5. Something about a wreck, pile up, somewhere in the US. Looked bad. But couldn't hear where this happened.

6. I can't believe I got this far. Perhaps I did hear with all that noise? How to take better care of your hair. Cutting the ends helps to prevent spilt ends to get worse.

I guess I didn't hear it all. So I was right the first time here. Now I'm back at my desk writing to you all, whoever you are. Oh, but I see you and you and I can't forget you! And well, I'm back here and the loud chick from S. Diego is back from her lunch. She was the one who decided on having a conf call at her desk. The nerve. So whenever she shows up, I frown, cause I know I'm gonna hear her annoying voice. Who does she sound like, so you'd have a better idea of how she sounds? I do not know, sorry. This will take some time. That's if i'm interested in wasting my time thinking of her when I'm home. Please spare me.

Attention Target Shoppers

Well it's the day after Christmas and all through the house not a person was stirring, not even a mouse. It was 6:30 in the morning and we got up and threw on our pants and put on our shirts and out the door we went to Target by 7am.

Two days earlier...

"I just want to look for that Santa gnome you wanted." LJ walked over to the Christmas section of Target to scope out the goodies for the 50% off sale the day after Christmas. "THERE IT IS!" She ran over to the Santa and picked him up. It was $19.99 and on Wednesday it would be half the price. "I don't want it." Said Mas. "WHAT?! You said you wanted this the other day. But of course we weren't gonna pay $24.99 for it. So that's why I'm checking to see if they have it here and we can come back when the sale is on."

"Attention Target Shoppers. The store will be closing in 20 minutes. Please make your way up to the registers for check out."

"GREAT! It's closing now, so on Wednesday morning, I'm gonna be here when it opens and buy this for 10 bucks!" LJ then notice a woman feeling up on her Santa Knome. Her eyes grew wide. She started to growl. "..Grrrr..." And then noticed that the lady didn't pick it up. She just left it there. LJ walked off with Mas and his mother. "....you saw that woman?? She was EYE BALLING my gnome!!"

While at the check out, LJ notices the woman who was eye balling her gnome. "Hey Mas, did you notice if the woman behind you had the gnome in her cart?" Ask LJ. "Nope. I didn't see anything in there." "Good. Then it'll be there when I come back on Wednesday morning, 8am sharp!" Mas's mother then says, "Oh, no they open at 7am!"

Great!! One hour could have caused major problems for everyone that day, as LJ would have been upset that some bitch took her Santa gnome before she did. She would have knocked someone and dragged them to the back if they eye balled anything else LJ wanted. But luckily, there was a second gnome, styled differently, for her to purchase if her first choice was gone. But she wanted what she wanted.

"Did you find what you wanted?" Ask Mas's dad. "Yes I did. But I should have hidden it. I hope that lady doesn't come back to race me for it." They all look at me like I'm crazy. I had the crazy look in my eyes. I was determined to get it. And get it for TEN BUCKS!

Present day...

We get to the Target store and there were people already waiting to get in. There must have been 30 people standing there. Mas stood on line, but I crept my way up to the front a bit. I was cool. The doors then opened on the dot and everyone started their way in. "No running, please." Says the man holding the door open for the customers. I walk in and tell Mas to grab a cart while I fly to the back calmly but quickly. Everyone took a different direction. I walked with a group of girls who were laughing and walking at a nice fast but decent pace. Then out of nowhere comes a woman with a filled shopping cart and almost side swipes me. "Ahhh!" I was almost hit and I was waiting for a response from the woman. "Oh sorry, ha ha ha." Her apology was a few seconds late, but better late than never. I looked over to the girls as they look at me and laugh along with me with what just happened. But then I turn back on my focus.

Great. The voltrues are all by the ornaments, as I make my way to the gnome in the next two isles down. I spot one woman in the isle but it's not the woman I saw who was eye balling my gnome. The lady in the isle was looking at something else. I come around the corner and spot my Santa. I quickly go over and it's IN MY HANDS!! YES!! YES!! Just as I freaking planned! YES!!

Mas catches up to me with the cart and sees me smiling with the knome in my hands. I give it to him and he holds on to it, rather than put it in the cart. "I'll hold it. Wanna make sure no one takes it out of the cart." "Good plan, Mas! Good team work. High five." We slap each other.

Now that the mission was complete, I went over to the other isles to look at the ornaments I wanted and spotted on Monday. But before I did that, I spotted out of the corner of my eye, a wooden reindeer with lights on it. It wasn't like the white wired one where the head moves up and down. This one was cute. It would look nice during the day time. I put it in the cart and made my way to the ornaments.

After...wait, I was there two hours?? Yeah, wow. So after about 2 hours of checking stuff out, we made our way to the check out. I spent about 100 bucks on sale items. So you know I came home with a lot. I managed to buy a bunch of xmas stockings to hang. They were beautiful. Silk with sequence and the colors were nice.

We drove back with smiles on our faces. Well at least I did. We got back to his parents house and they stood there at the door way waiting for the big gnome news. "MISSION COMPLETE. We brought home the turkey!" They laughed. Wow, they said. "I can't believe you guys got up to go shopping that early." "Well, that gnome was there waiting for me. I went to so many targets and saw that they were all gone. So this was a sign for me. Either that or else I would have stabbed the girl with the stocking holder if she was putting my gnome in her cart." And I walked away content.

Tuesday

It's Tuesday and I wanna know who Tila is gonna pick. Will it be Dani or Bobby? Dani is a female with lots to offer and Bobby is a guy who is just so freaking sweet, but is scared he'll get hurt again. They're both being friendly with each other, but they know the other is competition. So this is gonna be hard for Tila. If she picks Dani, will she have to fly out and live in Florida with Dani the fire woman? Will Bobby leave his home town to travel around the world with Tila? Damn it!! I gotta know!




The other day I wore my special 3 inch shoes to a company xmas party. They felt great. But now they're back in the closet. I use them once in a while. I couldn't stand walking in them everyday. But laying around, maybe.

Now that it's a bit nippy out here, I pulled out the boots and I'm happy I don't have to put on stockings. It's not always that cold, but at least I can still wear a skirt in the winter and not freeze to death. I hear it's freezing in New York now. Hee hee heeeee...

Well not much anything else is happening. It's just a boring Tuesday. Aren't all Tuesdays boring? You have Monday which everyone hates and hump day. Then Thursday, which to me is drinks after work and then Friday is, well anything can happen on Fridays. But Tuesdays? I think Tuesday is the day to get over Monday and it prepares you for the hump day, which is great cause you now have the feeling that the week is almost over. Then when it's Thursday, you start getting ready for what will happen Friday night. What that is...like I said. Friday is like what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. So what happens on Friday....no. What happens on Friday will be told to everyone on Monday. Yep, what you did Friday night, that girl is gonna tell the other chick what you did over by the corner with the funny looking dude. You're ruined. You can never show your face ever again at work. Now everyone will know your shame. You can't dance.

I'm LJ and I'm outta here!

Scarifice

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping .............

THIS JUST IN!

LJ has decided on changing her cell phone ring tone to a holiday tone. More details to come after these messages.

"When I'm cramping, I turn into an evil witch with a hatchet. But then I take Midol. Midol helps relieve my cramping and not only that, bloating as well. So I don't have to walk around the office with that extra large sweater that I've had for 10 years to hide my belly. It makes that evil witch with the hatchet, into a sweet loving lamb.

When I cramp, I choose Midol. "

While siting at her desk, LJ heard the sounds of Christmas coming from a near by cube station. That's when she thought changing her ring tone to a Christmas one would be ideal. "I'm just in the Christmas spirit this year." Says LJ. "...but then again, I'm always in the Christmas spirit year after year."

An LJ Rambling Moment

Ahhh the cold. New York is cold. 20 something degrees out. A little snow fall, but not too much. And then here I am in California stepping out and I'm freezing! My teeth were chattering. I was shaking. And it was only a good 55 degrees out.

Today I spent the day shopping and bought myself a few things. Things geared towards keeping me warm. I bought a red robe to keep me warm when my naked body emerges from the shower. As well as other times like...umm...when I get out of bed and it's cold. I can quickly grab my red robe and warm myself up. Oh it's so soft. Oh it's so warm. Mmmmm....

Then I decided to buy 4 pairs of pajama pants. They're so soft. I love them. Along with that, I bought a pajama top and a pair of work pants with a black top. I believe I bought a few other things from my favorite store called "Bath and Body Works." I love all the scents in that store. Smells so sweet. I use to spend money going there almost everyday after work. I'd walk home and on my way home, I'd pass by the store and go inside.

Last time I bought a lotion that made me smell yummy. Everyone at work would get hungry and want a little something sweet. Sure I'm sweet, but come on. I almost wanted my own self a couple of times. It was just that good. My god, I just remembered. I still have two jars of that lotion!! I better lube up before bed time, if you know what I mean. ;)

Okay whatever. Back to what I bought today. So I am now wearing my new pj pants, my red robe and top. Along with that, a Santa hat I bought at my favorite store, Target. If I may say, I'm looking quite festive. I should call myself Lani Claus. Although I would be a mean one... I'm a bit moody. Okay that's not true. I'm happy. I'm just warm right now. Actually, as I write here, I'm not sure what I'm saying anymore. It's nothing knew. I sometimes go on a rambling rampage. I start out with one thing, then go into something totally different and my story telling becomes unstable. I am soooo not working it here. But I'm warm and I'm in red from top to bottom. I also drove home in the rain today after I bought all my PJs. :D

Okay, well i'm out, so have a good night. And just remember this wise old saying..."He who lays on a bed of needles will be in pain."

Good night!

Pain Pain Go Away

It's been a stressful two weeks. I had this headache and tooth ache since the weekend before Thanksgiving. I went right over to the doctor after the holiday and he took care of a few things. But I'm still hurting, so I'll be back this week.

Then I went to a regular doctor to find out about my headaches and after that I went to the eye doctor. Well my vision has changed, but not by much since 2003. The headaches could be from the dental issues or from the tightness from my neck. So I'm glad it's nothing bad, at least he didn't think it was. I just have to go see a massage therapist to help with the headaches. Then I'll go back to the dentist. It's weird though, the dentist didn't do a full mouth x-ray in the first place, which I think would have been the process for a new patient. He just did the area I was having pain in. But seems like if the pain is in one place, it's referring pain through out the top left side of my mouth. Soooo back to the dentist I go for more checking.

The doctor gave me a muscle relaxer, which I don't think it worked Friday night, unless it took time to kick in, cause yesterday I spent much of the day feeling great. So tonight I will take the pill again. Umm...cause I woke up today in pain again. Not a lot of pain, but an annoying kind.

Well, after seeing the eye doctor yesterday, I'm excited to get myself a new pair of glasses. I wanted to get contacts, but with my astigmatism it might not be too clear, the doc says. Bummer... I want to stop wearing glasses cause I feel like a dork sometimes. :( But I guess I'll just have to wear a new pair and buy myself a pair of sunglass as well with my prescription in them. No big deal I guess. Saves me from having to stick my fingers in my eyes.

Well, other than that, tomorrow is work. (Lani throws up) Yeah Mondays suck. But I will be fine. Mondays are my busy days, but this week will be my busiest. This week I'll be going back to the dentist, then travel over to the other office for two days of boring meetings followed by a trip to a Partners house for a holiday party. Nice. I called up a limo service to come pick us up. A nice white stretch limo for 10 ladies. No, 9 ladies and one lucky man.

Happy Holidays

Am I early??
Well I thought this was cute. It's never too early to send out Holiday wishes. Okay, now that's not true. If it's September, then Happy Holidays would be some time away. Like 3 months. But now it's okay cause it's after Thanksgiving. So don't worry my little elfs, I will post more holiday graphics for your viewing pleasures.

xoxo

Almost A Nightmare

I was waiting at the light to change green. Then I would speed down the lane and merge onto the freeway. But something was wrong. I was low on gas. This I knew. But I still had 30 miles of gas left. I just needed to get to the gas station.

The car was choking. "Oh no, what's happening? Am I dying out here? Out here on the freeway?!!" I pulled over onto the shoulder and put on my hazard lights. I started to think about the possibility of having to call in the towing company. Or have someone come to me with gas. God dang this can't be happening. So I called Mas and told him what was going on. Then I decided to use the navigation to get me to the nearest gas station. Thank god one was close. I drove the car slowly off the freeway.

Now I'm driving down the block. It was nice that the folks around me were patient. They drove by me with caution. Then I get to a red light and look down. I can't freaking believe my eyes. I am such a dumbass. I'm blaming it on the fact that it was dark inside the car, cause I had it on manual!! How did I do that? No wonder it was choking!!

Freaking ay....
Well, I'm just glad I got home safe.

Usually Thursdays are fun days. You have one more day and it's Friday. But not today. Today I'm stressed out. Work is bugging me, but I will maintain my cool.

Tonight I'm going for a massage. Can't wait.

Jack The Ripper...of Hearts

Base on true events, The LJ Hour and Life Time Blogger Channel presents.

"Jack The Ripper... Of Hearts."

Pretend there was a last week's episode. Thanks.... :)

In last week's episode, Jack flew out to see a woman he has fallen in love with. They both find happiness in each other and are madly in love with one another. She believes he's the man of her dreams and he believes he has scored with yet another beautiful woman.

Jack: Happy? I can't be anymore happier. My life has been wonderful ever since you came into it. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. We fit.

Sarah: Oh Jack, you're so sweet. You haven't said one bad thing since the first day we met. You're always so sweet and so supportive of all my dreams.

Sarah: I mean, I've never had a man care so much like you do and do the things you do for me or DO to me. (hee ha) I sometimes wonder if you're too good to be true.

Jack: Will I sound silly saying that I think the same? I never had anyone care so much for me the way you do. I get scared sometimes too, when I think I'll get hurt again. I have to ask myself, does she really love me? Wow. I'm just your average guy and this breathtaklying beautiful woman loves me? But I know you do and that makes my heart fill with joy 100 times over.

Sarah: Sometimes I worry that one day I'll wake up and you won't be there. Or that you'll leave me for another woman.










Jack: Hey! Look at me. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're the only person that has ever understood me. You take me serious and you really care for me. That makes me f eel great. And you're great and you don't ever have to worry about us, because I'm here for you always. I can't stop loving you now. I've gone too far now.








Sarah: Oh you see? You're always saying the most romantic things. Oh Jack, I really love you and I'm so glad things didn't work out with your ex girlfriend. She was a fool to have hurt you the way she did. How anyone can be so cruel and put you in a headlock and choke you to the point where you we re barely breathing, is beyond me. I can never do that to you when all you were doing is loving me.



Jack: I know, but that's all in the past now. Listen. I just remembered. I need to call the office. I have a few things to square away and then we can go take a walk on the beach. Get some sand betw een our toes. You know, get all mushie and stuff. So wait here....and keep that sexy smile on your face.
Oh and by the way, I have a little something for you. So I'll be right back!

Sarah: Sure. Anything for you, Jack.

Jane: I know it was here. I was sitting here and I took it off. Then I ran upstairs real quick and left it on the seat here the other day. Something just ain't right.

(Phone rings)

Jane: Hello?

Jack: Hey beautiful. How's the love of my life doing? ---Um that's you. My wife. Hee hee.

Jane: Not great. I think I misplaced the ring you bought me. I thought I left it on the seat here. You know the chair we use to read our books on? Well, it's not here. It's no where to be found. And I know how much you put your heart and soul in buying me that ring. I'm just getting frustrated that I can't find it.

Jack: Oh no. Did you try sticking your hands down my pants, I mean in between the cushion?---Aww, I know it's not funny, sweetie. Okay, I see. Hmm....well don't worry so much. I know how much it means to you. I can always replace a ring, but I can't replace you. -----Sure, sure I understand. -----Well listen, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I'm staying here til Sunday. I'm gonna have dinner with the boss on Saturday, so I'll catch an early flight on Sunday.----Yeah, yeah. Sure, I miss you. I'm dying to come home and make love to you. This sucks that I have to keep coming down here every month. ---- I know. Well look, I can see your upset about the ring. Do me a favor. Go upstairs and fill the tub up with warm water. Go in the cabinet and get out Mr. Bubbles and push play on the cd player that I left there for you. Just close your eyes and listen to that song. It's a surprise. You're gonna love it. ----Okay, well I love you too. I'll see you soon. ---Huh? Oh who's there? Briana? Oh tell her I said hello. -----Well, okay my chocolate godiva, I gotta run. I love you. ----Okay, bye.

Jane: Well, he's not coming home tonight. He has to stay out there for a late dinner on Saturday night. He didn't seem so disappointed about the ring, though. Sort of took it lightly. Oh well.

Briana: I'm telling you, that ring is cursed. It keeps falling off everyday and it's your ring size. Explain that to me, please.
What? What's wrong? You got that look like he's up to no good again. Oh child, what am I gonna do with you? You thinking he's up to no good again? Girl, when you gonna learn?

Sarah: OH MY GOD IT'S BEAUTIFUL! Oh Jack, I love it. I love you so much. It's perfect. You're perfect!

Jack: No, you're perfect. You're perfect in every way. You deserve a man to pamper you. A man to take care of you in every way. And I want to be that man for the rest of our lives.

Sarah: Oh yes, Jack, yes!

Meanwhile, back home. Jane lays in bed wondering about her husband. She has a flashback to what Briana was saying earlier.

"You think he's up to no good again? Girl, when you gonna learn?"

To be continued?? Yes, no??